Had one of my toughest parenting days yesterday with the lil bub who was constantly testing the boundaries and unusually cranky. 

I was alone with bub and at some point completely lost it with her. I behaved in a way I was not proud of and felt like a complete failure in my role as a mama. I even entertained thoughts like how I was no different from the teachers who treated her unkindly in her first school. 

There are going to be hard days again, many. But here’s a reminder to myself to remember that she is having a hard time and not trying to give me a hard time (even though it looks a lot like that). After putting her to bed yesterday night, I curled up on my sofa to decompress and realise that bad sleep in school and an over hectic weekend is probably the reason why she was unusually cranky. My emotions were triggered too from the get-go at pick up when the teachers shared their feedback with me about Joy. 

One night, I gave myself one night to feel the crippling and overwhelming guilt of being a bad mum. Today I HAVE TO pick myself up from that, push away x257 unhealthy thoughts and tell myself that today will be a better day, I will be better than I was yesterday. 

Had one of my toughest parenting days yesterday with the lil bub who was constantly testing the boundaries and unusually cranky. 

I was alone with bub and at some point completely lost it with her. I behaved in a way I was not proud of and felt like a complete failure in my role as a mama. I even entertained thoughts like how I was no different from the teachers who treated her unkindly in her first school. 

There are going to be hard days again, many. But here’s a reminder to myself to remember that she is having a hard time and not trying to give me a hard time (even though it looks a lot like that). After putting her to bed yesterday night, I curled up on my sofa to decompress and realise that bad sleep in school and an over hectic weekend is probably the reason why she was unusually cranky. My emotions were triggered too from the get-go at pick up when the teachers shared their feedback with me about Joy. 

One night, I gave myself one night to feel the crippling and overwhelming guilt of being a bad mum. Today I HAVE TO pick myself up from that, push away x257 unhealthy thoughts and tell myself that today will be a better day, I will be better than I was yesterday. 

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