Dear Joy
Saturday, June 28, 2025; 12:31 AM |
Dear Joy,
One of Mama’s friends told me I could write a letter to you to find some healing from all that we’ve gone through.
In June 2024, I pulled you out of your first school — overwhelmed with guilt, grief, and rage over what you had experienced. It’s been almost a year since then, and today I dropped off a smiling, happy you at your new school. You’ve grown, you’ve blossomed, and so much has changed — but the emotions from your first school experience are still so raw in Mama’s heart.
I thought this would also be a good time for me to reflect on the past three years — three years of you, and three years of me as your Mama. It’s been a wild ride of emotions: joy, exhaustion, worry (constant worrying), amazement, thankfulness, and immense pride. Some days I feel drained and defeated. Other days, you leave this warm, fuzzy feeling in my heart that I never want to forget.
My precious child, you are funny, witty, so bright, and so, so perceptive. At such a young age, you notice the subtlest shifts in the environment and the emotions of those around you. I remember one night during our bedtime routine, Mama was feeling tired — and even though I thought I had done a decent job regulating my emotions, you asked me, “Mama, why are you feeling cranky?”
Mama and Papa came across a book called The Highly Sensitive Child, and it brought so much clarity about the little person you are — and the wonderful person you are growing up to be. Though you’re only three, you already reflect deeply, feel intensely, and think more than most children your age.
I look back now and better understand your cautiousness around other children, your anxiety at your first school, your intense fear of unpleasant experiences like vomiting, and how overwhelmed you felt by loud noises or unfamiliar situations. The things other kids might dive straight into — like bouncy castles and magic shows — you needed time to observe first, a lot of pep talks, reassurances, and gentle encouragement before you could accept and eventually enjoy them in your own time.
Parenting a highly sensitive child hasn’t been the easiest road- it’s required more patience, more presence, and more reflection than I ever imagined. Some days, my heart aches because of how deeply you feel, because of how tender your little spirit is, and how you may feel overwhelmed by things others might not even notice. But every time you take that brave little step forward, even the smallest one outside of your comfort zone, my heart swells with pride. Your breakthroughs may seem small to others, but to me, they are mighty. You are growing in your own beautiful, steady way.
I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with the way you feel or see the world — your sensitivity is not a weakness, it’s your superpower. It makes you kind, intuitive, and beautifully aware in a world that often moves too fast and too loud.
As one passage from a book I read said so perfectly:
“In all likelihood, your sensitive toddler will one day grow into a sensitive adult. And while she’ll probably still feel things intensely, the positive aspects of sensitivity — being creative, observant, intuitive, thoughtful, artistic and empathetic — will emerge even more as she gets older. In fact, those wonderful aspects are probably already quite evident in your child.”
And I see that in you already, Joy - every single day.
I am so sorry you had to go through something that made you feel afraid, unheard and unseen at such a young tender age. You were having a hard time, not trying to give others a hard time - and your teachers then failed to recognise that. As your mama, I promise to be your voice when you need one, to advocate for you when things don’t seem right and to be here for you as we figure out the balance between protecting you and giving you the courage to try.
Mama is learning too — learning to listen better, to slow down, and to stay calm when things feel hard. I’ve made mistakes, and I know I’ll make more. But you were always ready to love me right back, even when I fall short. That means everything to me. I promise I’ll keep trying, and keep growing with you, always.
(Also, Mama asked a little helper called ChatGPT to help me write this letter — it’s like a really smart computer friend who helped me find the right words for all the feelings in my heart.)
Joy, you are deeply loved exactly as you are. I am so proud of you and I thank God every day that I get to be your Mama. Here’s to us — three years in, and just getting started.
With all my love,
Mama
It’s okay
Monday, June 2, 2025; 11:29 PM |
Some days I love the life I have, but sometimes I don’t, and that’s okay.
Some days it’s hard to be kind to myself and that’s okay.
Some days it’s easier to leave things broken than to fix it and that’s okay.
Some days I’m not okay and that’s okay.
Dear Joy
Saturday, June 28, 2025; 12:31 AM |
Dear Joy,
One of Mama’s friends told me I could write a letter to you to find some healing from all that we’ve gone through.
In June 2024, I pulled you out of your first school — overwhelmed with guilt, grief, and rage over what you had experienced. It’s been almost a year since then, and today I dropped off a smiling, happy you at your new school. You’ve grown, you’ve blossomed, and so much has changed — but the emotions from your first school experience are still so raw in Mama’s heart.
I thought this would also be a good time for me to reflect on the past three years — three years of you, and three years of me as your Mama. It’s been a wild ride of emotions: joy, exhaustion, worry (constant worrying), amazement, thankfulness, and immense pride. Some days I feel drained and defeated. Other days, you leave this warm, fuzzy feeling in my heart that I never want to forget.
My precious child, you are funny, witty, so bright, and so, so perceptive. At such a young age, you notice the subtlest shifts in the environment and the emotions of those around you. I remember one night during our bedtime routine, Mama was feeling tired — and even though I thought I had done a decent job regulating my emotions, you asked me, “Mama, why are you feeling cranky?”
Mama and Papa came across a book called The Highly Sensitive Child, and it brought so much clarity about the little person you are — and the wonderful person you are growing up to be. Though you’re only three, you already reflect deeply, feel intensely, and think more than most children your age.
I look back now and better understand your cautiousness around other children, your anxiety at your first school, your intense fear of unpleasant experiences like vomiting, and how overwhelmed you felt by loud noises or unfamiliar situations. The things other kids might dive straight into — like bouncy castles and magic shows — you needed time to observe first, a lot of pep talks, reassurances, and gentle encouragement before you could accept and eventually enjoy them in your own time.
Parenting a highly sensitive child hasn’t been the easiest road- it’s required more patience, more presence, and more reflection than I ever imagined. Some days, my heart aches because of how deeply you feel, because of how tender your little spirit is, and how you may feel overwhelmed by things others might not even notice. But every time you take that brave little step forward, even the smallest one outside of your comfort zone, my heart swells with pride. Your breakthroughs may seem small to others, but to me, they are mighty. You are growing in your own beautiful, steady way.
I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with the way you feel or see the world — your sensitivity is not a weakness, it’s your superpower. It makes you kind, intuitive, and beautifully aware in a world that often moves too fast and too loud.
As one passage from a book I read said so perfectly:
“In all likelihood, your sensitive toddler will one day grow into a sensitive adult. And while she’ll probably still feel things intensely, the positive aspects of sensitivity — being creative, observant, intuitive, thoughtful, artistic and empathetic — will emerge even more as she gets older. In fact, those wonderful aspects are probably already quite evident in your child.”
And I see that in you already, Joy - every single day.
I am so sorry you had to go through something that made you feel afraid, unheard and unseen at such a young tender age. You were having a hard time, not trying to give others a hard time - and your teachers then failed to recognise that. As your mama, I promise to be your voice when you need one, to advocate for you when things don’t seem right and to be here for you as we figure out the balance between protecting you and giving you the courage to try.
Mama is learning too — learning to listen better, to slow down, and to stay calm when things feel hard. I’ve made mistakes, and I know I’ll make more. But you were always ready to love me right back, even when I fall short. That means everything to me. I promise I’ll keep trying, and keep growing with you, always.
(Also, Mama asked a little helper called ChatGPT to help me write this letter — it’s like a really smart computer friend who helped me find the right words for all the feelings in my heart.)
Joy, you are deeply loved exactly as you are. I am so proud of you and I thank God every day that I get to be your Mama. Here’s to us — three years in, and just getting started.
With all my love,
Mama
It’s okay
Monday, June 2, 2025; 11:29 PM |
Some days I love the life I have, but sometimes I don’t, and that’s okay.
Some days it’s hard to be kind to myself and that’s okay.
Some days it’s easier to leave things broken than to fix it and that’s okay.
Some days I’m not okay and that’s okay.
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